This project (as a whole -- research, 24-hour projects, final piece) has been a really great experience. It was all that we had been doing this semester put together, so it was a really focused and dedicated exercise. The research I was doing didn’t feel forced (when it did, I made sure to acknowledge it, which ended up making the research even stronger -- for example, going to Chinatown hoping to find more of a direction in which to take the final piece).
The points of research/inspiration made it easy to have the project in my head at all times, or at least have it be easy to pull to the surface over the course of a few weeks. This made the 24-hour projects feel natural and they just sort of came along. The words used to describe the 24-hour projects -- “spontaneous, impulsive, and experiments” -- really helped me just start, which has been a problem for me when making art. The idea for the final piece also just appeared to me one day, and I think it was simply because I’d been thinking about the whole process and what I had “researched” up to that point, either consciously or subconsciously.
I had the idea to carve into soap, ink it up and stamp it, and wash my hands after each inking. It took me another week or so to come up with what exactly I was going to carve, which seemed the most important part. In talking to my parents about this idea, my mom mentioned the Chinese name given to me by my great-grandma. I thought it was too obvious, but then I realized it would be the perfect thing to wash with -- the name would be present with me at all times, handling the name I’ve had little connection to in my life, while at the same time it would morph and disappear with each wash. I’d be cleaning myself with the name or from the name, or both. Looking at how it came out in the end, I see the piece more as an illustration of the many identities that one can have -- one doesn’t necessarily have to pick one identity over another. This is sort of a message in Chan is Missing, also:
Looking back to my critique, I feel like I should have told everyone what I had carved, for it is a very important part to the piece. It was interesting getting caught up in people saying it was fine the way it was, and forgetting why I had liked the idea in the first place. In a way, this act of forgetting captures the very essence of my thought process when making this piece -- this idea of forgetting where you come from and when trying to remember, you cannot fully remember: “in order to remember something you must forget something” (Norman Klein, The History of Forgetting). The critique is yet another point to observe in terms of research and asking what the piece is doing or should be doing after being created. How is it taking up space, how do I see it now, how has making it changed my views.
I definitely see all of the structures set up for this project helping me in future art-making, or making in general. I was surprised to find that the instructions you gave us were really really helpful. As I mentioned above, I felt like I really could just go with the 24-hour projects which was amazingly freeing for me, and I produced things in those time periods that I really enjoyed making and respect now as pieces. The research part of the assignment was also great because it forced me to consider what research is and how it can help create something -- big or small, conscious or unconscious, apparent or unapparent. Saying this, I feel that I want to take with me into my practice the value and validity of spontaneous experiments (and the importance of using words like experiments), as well as being comfortable with relying or calling upon, building on other ideas that interest you. This was the most fun I’ve had in a while in making something -- I felt like I was really in it -- so I have a feeling I will think about this project/recall it when I am feeling stuck.
The points of research/inspiration made it easy to have the project in my head at all times, or at least have it be easy to pull to the surface over the course of a few weeks. This made the 24-hour projects feel natural and they just sort of came along. The words used to describe the 24-hour projects -- “spontaneous, impulsive, and experiments” -- really helped me just start, which has been a problem for me when making art. The idea for the final piece also just appeared to me one day, and I think it was simply because I’d been thinking about the whole process and what I had “researched” up to that point, either consciously or subconsciously.
I had the idea to carve into soap, ink it up and stamp it, and wash my hands after each inking. It took me another week or so to come up with what exactly I was going to carve, which seemed the most important part. In talking to my parents about this idea, my mom mentioned the Chinese name given to me by my great-grandma. I thought it was too obvious, but then I realized it would be the perfect thing to wash with -- the name would be present with me at all times, handling the name I’ve had little connection to in my life, while at the same time it would morph and disappear with each wash. I’d be cleaning myself with the name or from the name, or both. Looking at how it came out in the end, I see the piece more as an illustration of the many identities that one can have -- one doesn’t necessarily have to pick one identity over another. This is sort of a message in Chan is Missing, also:
- “‘he's too Chinese,’ he wanted to continue to be Chinese, others want to assimilate -- both of these things are problems.”
- how to be Chinese American -- “like an apple pie...pie is pretty American, but they use Chinese spices. That's what we have to do everyday.”
- “to solve it, you have to think in Chinese”
- I sort of had the image of the soap project as my way of thinking in Chinese, and the mystery I was trying to solve was what my identity is, rather than Chan trying to figure out where Chan is.
- this mystery is strictly Chinese -- you must use the negative to emphasize the positive
- This was the line that made me think of carving something and printing it, to get obvious negative/positive spaces.
- “nothing is what it seems to be” (this is weirdly, or fittingly, close to a line my professor used in talking about the film Chinatown: "you may think you know what's going on, but you don't")
- This applies probably more to how I view the piece in its finished form -- I had been trying, hopefully, that my name, the character for Jade, would appear clearly at some point during the washes, but it never did. Which seemed fitting, as I still don’t know what the name means to me -- maybe I will never fit the “pure” Chinese name. Nothing is what it seems to be. This next line sort of goes along with this other line: "I can't accept it without a resolution, guess I'm not Chinese enough." This is something Jo says at the end when they don’t figure out where Chan is. While at first I was a bit bummed Jade never appeared, it began to make sense that it didn’t, and I accepted it. While I’m not implying I’m “Chinese enough” because I was able to accept the piece without a resolution (maybe it still doesn’t have a resolution), it is interesting to think about.
- And lastly, another line from the film: “You're looking for Chan, right? Why don't you look in a puddle?” This was sort of a parallel couple of questions to my project. I knew I wanted to do something with Chinatown, and once I accepted that it was an identity thing, I thought about these questions and the whole looking at yourself to figure something out. The soap, and the act of washing my hands over and over, is sort of a reference to this -- I made my own puddle to look into, trying to find an identity that may or may not be me, just as Jo and Steve end up looking at themselves trying to find Chan (themselves).
Looking back to my critique, I feel like I should have told everyone what I had carved, for it is a very important part to the piece. It was interesting getting caught up in people saying it was fine the way it was, and forgetting why I had liked the idea in the first place. In a way, this act of forgetting captures the very essence of my thought process when making this piece -- this idea of forgetting where you come from and when trying to remember, you cannot fully remember: “in order to remember something you must forget something” (Norman Klein, The History of Forgetting). The critique is yet another point to observe in terms of research and asking what the piece is doing or should be doing after being created. How is it taking up space, how do I see it now, how has making it changed my views.
I definitely see all of the structures set up for this project helping me in future art-making, or making in general. I was surprised to find that the instructions you gave us were really really helpful. As I mentioned above, I felt like I really could just go with the 24-hour projects which was amazingly freeing for me, and I produced things in those time periods that I really enjoyed making and respect now as pieces. The research part of the assignment was also great because it forced me to consider what research is and how it can help create something -- big or small, conscious or unconscious, apparent or unapparent. Saying this, I feel that I want to take with me into my practice the value and validity of spontaneous experiments (and the importance of using words like experiments), as well as being comfortable with relying or calling upon, building on other ideas that interest you. This was the most fun I’ve had in a while in making something -- I felt like I was really in it -- so I have a feeling I will think about this project/recall it when I am feeling stuck.